Umbrella drinks and sippy cups.

I had my life planned out. We got married just before finals and I had our first daughter when I was 24, our third daughter when I was 29. Paul and I had always planned that we would do all the fun things our friends had done straight out of college, when our girls were grown and had flown the coop. I had visions of traveling across India on a train, of visiting New Zealand to see where the Lord of the Rings had been filmed, of relaxing on a cruise sipping fancy drinks with umbrellas in them, and of going to the theater wearing something fancy and preferably sequined. Apparently God had different plans for our lives ...

Our lives have followed paths that we could never have imagined. Fifteen years ago we moved from our comfortable lives in England to live in Atlanta, when Paul was asked to open a new office. We thought we might stay for a year or two but have recently begun our citizenship applications. We saw our girls grow and blossom, and anticipated them graduating and leaving home. I saw the glint of the sequinned gown, the glitter of the ocean, just coming into focus, and then God shook everything up.

I had been volunteering in a school for children with emotional and behavioral difficulties, doing fun weekly art projects when I met a little girl named Madison. She was six years old and had already been in five foster placements. She was quiet and nervous and seemed amazed that I was spending time with her and that she would get to take the small, glittered box home with her. I thought that Paul and I could love a little girl like that. We could provide her with a loving home and care for her while her family tried to get their lives in order. We talked about it and, in the final months of our third daughter's junior year at high school, we started our foster parent training.

I quickly realized that my life had been very sheltered and extremely blessed. I started to glimpse worlds where children were scared and unable to trust those who were supposed to care for them; where mothers struggled with addiction and hopelessness; where families existed with ever changing members and with little stability. God walked with us as we learned how to minister to the children and families who were in unthinkable situations and prepared us for a life that we had never imagined.

God's plan for our lives seems to have put the umbrella drinks on hold for the moment and has replaced them with sippy cups and apple juice. He knew all along, as I lived my life and learned the lessons He put before me, that I would end up here. I could never have guessed or imagined the joys and challenges that our journey as foster, and now adoptive, parents would bring. I will share some of our experiences with you and challenge you to listen as God shows you the plans He has for your life. Maybe yours will include more sequins?

Graduation thoughts

I am sitting in a darkened hotel room in Athens, Georgia, while Paul writes a presentation on his computer and the little ones snore in a big bed. Tomorrow morning, at 9.30, Hattie will graduate from the University of Georgia with a BA in Anthropology and Human Geography. She is done a semester early and will be getting married in a few short weeks ... how did this happen? Surely she is a mere child, 13 or 14 at the most? Where is my little girl and who is this smart young woman who is calling me Mom?

Hattie is my third born, my blonde one, my blinky one. She was born almost 22 years ago and was diagnosed at 6 weeks of age with ocular albinism.

I still remember the horrendous day when Jane Sanderson looked after Jess and Kate while I pushed my little baby in her pram to the eye specialist. I don't recall the doctor's name but I do remember that she never even lifted Hattie from the stroller or did anything to put me at my ease. I also remember the litany of things that she warned me that my tiny baby would have to endure ... she would never drive a car, she would probably need haptic lenses to cut out the bright glare, she would probably need to learn braille, she would basically be blind. She also blithely told me that this was the most severe case of ocular albinism she had ever seen ... she seemed excited by this and seemed to expect me to be proud of my baby's achievement! I cried all the way back to Jane's house where I tried to explain the terrible news I had received about the debilitating condition my genes had inflicted on this small child. I had never heard of it and only knew that Hattie would have a disabled life and that our genetic combination of recessive genes had been to blame.

Hattie exceeded all expectations. The teacher of the visually impaired, who visited weekly while Hattie was a baby and toddler, showed us tracking and visual stimulation games and techniques that would help her make the most of her sight. She was so encouraging and told me that Hattie was using her vision more effectively than some of her tiny students who had better eyesight. I knew then that Hattie was a smart little fighter and she was already confounding the experts.

Hattie always tried her best and I would be her running commentary when we were doing anything, alerting her to oncoming dogs in the street, telling her about stairs she was going to come across and describing every step in the activities we did, as she couldn't see the nuances herself. She started school with an IEP and did well, she tried hard and quickly became her own best advocate in the classroom, letting the teachers know when she couldn't see or taking the initiative to move to find what she needed. She learned to read books, not braille, she rejected some of the cumbersome adaptations the specialists provided for the classroom, preferring to find her own more discreet solutions. She was successful, smart and had many friends, many of whom probably didn't even realize that her range of vision was little more than a few feet around her!

When we moved to America, I was reluctant to get her labeled as the 'visually impaired student', before the teachers got to know her as the smart, funny, competent second grader that she was.I fought the recommendations of the 'expert' who wanted to dumb down her classes in elementary school and encouraged her teachers to keep their expectations high, while allowing her to modify how she accessed the information they presented. We had lots of wonderful teachers through elementary, middle and high school and Hattie continued to excel. She graduated 11th in a class of 575 from her high school and will graduate magna cum laude from college tomorrow ... I am so very proud of her and all she has achieved.

I spent more time with Hattie, as a teen, than I really did with her sisters because, as the doctor predicted, her vision is too poor to allow her to drive. I have chauffeured her around to meet friends, in carpool, and to the stores. Jess and Kate have always looked out for her, except for giving her the infamous swirly in the toilet when they were home alone!! We are proud of all our kids and tomorrow is the day to celebrate Hattie, how far she has come and what will come next.

She will be turning 22 in less than a week and is getting married to Chris in 22 days ... how did she go from running into bus stops as a five year old to being a college graduate about to become a married woman??? There is nothing that makes you feel old like having your 'baby' graduate and get hitched!

We will be there at the Colosseum tomorrow ... her fiance, her parents, her three youngest siblings (who adore her), and Kate and Andrew are driving from Tennessee. (Sadly, Jess is working in Texas and won't be able to make it.) We will shout and cheer as she stands to accept her degree, knowing that she won't be able to see us from her spot on the basketball court floor but loving her and yelling for her so she will hear us just the same.

So just do it, already!

I started this blog a few weeks ago and have not done anything to it. Fear of failure, the inability to start, and chronic typing phobia have all contributed but I have to do it and so here it is!

I have decided that I don't really need to go back to where it all began, that was proving way too complicated as everything depended on everything else and there was no real 'Once upon a time ... ' with which to kick it all off. I had decided to start with my Dad's coin toss that led him to live in Bristol where he met my Mum, but even that had shreds of lives attached that seemed to be just as relevant and meaningful.

So I decided, on my drive to preschool this morning, listening to Gretchen Rubin's 'The Happiness Project", that the answer was just to start now, where I am, with what is happening today and then the rest will come.

So, today I am smiling. I am a 50 year old woman, about to attend her third daughter's graduation from college, driving her 2, 3, and 4 year old toddlers to preschool. It is weird to say that I have six children ... three, grown, beautiful, intelligent, and college graduated daughters, and three preschoolers, bursting with enthusiasm for everything from ladybugs at the park to noticing all the chimneys on our route that Santa will be descending in a few days!

This middle aged life was supposed to be winding down, looking inward, and slowing down. The choice to become foster parents, 6 years ago as Hattie, our third daughter, was a senior at high school, changed everything. What was going to be a ten year commitment to helping children in distress has turned into a lifelong commitment to three beautiful new additions to our family. This middle aged life is not slowing down, nor is there much time for introspection. There is, however, the joy of seeing a fragment of rainbow in a nearly clear sky, through the eyes of delighted four year old; there is the smile at the sight of a round-bellied two year old in pajamas, strolling into the room, with a book under her arm and wearing dark glasses; and there is the heart stopping love of a three year old boy who snuggles up each morning and says "I wuv you".

This unexpected journey has sights and experiences that only God knew were going to be part of our lives. I am surprised and incredulous to be living a life so unexpected and so joyful and so challenging. I wouldn't have it any other way!

I decided to write a blog ...

I decided to write a blog ... just like that, just decided. I obviously had to ask my daughter, Jess, to walk me through how to actually make one and how to have all the gadgets and gizmos that I needed. I am very grateful for smart, tech savvy children!

I should introduce myself. I am Janice and I have been married to Paul for 28 years. We live in the northern suburbs of Atlanta but were born and bred in England, more years ago than I really care to think about and even less care to mention here! We moved, almost 15 years ago, when Paul was asked to open a new office in Atlanta for the market research company he has worked for for the last 25 years. We moved with our three daughters, Jess, Kate and Hattie, and thus started our American adventure.

At the time of moving we had no idea of what God had in store for us ... it was hard enough trying to figure out the money and how to put gas in the car. It has been a journey and more than an adventure. I have a lot to tell of what has happened and even more to share of the miracles that have been sent to us along the way. I don't know if anyone will read this series of ramblings (apart from my girls who will be coerced!) but I felt I needed to write down the amazing series of events, none of which seemed earth shattering at the time, that have shaped our lives and transformed our future.